He’s a ‘tech addict’ who works in the tech industry
He’s a ‘tech addict’ who works in the tech industry
By MARTHA IRVINE December 26, 2018
BELLEVUE, Wash. (AP) — The young men sit in chairs in a
circle in a small meeting room in suburban Seattle and introduce themselves
before they speak. It is much like any other 12-step meeting — but with a
twist.
“Hi, my name is,” each begins. Then something like, “and
I’m an internet and tech addict.”
The eight who’ve gathered here are beset by a level of
tech obsession that’s different than it is for those of us who like to say
we’re addicted to our phones or an app or some new show on a streaming video service.
For them, tech gets in the way of daily functioning and self-care. We’re
talking flunk-your-classes, can’t-find-a-job, live-in-a-dark-hole kinds of
problems, with depression, anxiety and sometimes suicidal thoughts part of the
mix.
There’s Christian, a 20-year-old college student from
Wyoming who has a traumatic brain injury. His mom urged him to seek help
because he was “medicating” his depression with video games and marijuana.
Seth, a 28-year-old from Minnesota, used video games and
any number of things to try to numb his shame after a car he was driving
crashed, seriously injuring his brother.
Wes, 21, an Eagle Scout and college student from
Michigan, played video games 80 hours a week, only stopping to eat every two to
three days. He lost 25 pounds and failed his classes.
Across town there is another young man who attended this
meeting, before his work schedule changed — and his work places him squarely at
risk of temptation.
He does cloud maintenance for a suburban Seattle tech
company. For a self-described tech addict, this is like working in the lion’s
den, laboring for the very industry that peddles the games, videos and other
online content that long has been his vice.
“I’m like an alcoholic working at a bar,” the 27-year-old
laments.
___
“The drugs of old are now repackaged. We have a new foe,”
Cosette Rae says of the barrage of tech. A former developer in the tech world,
she heads a Seattle area rehab center called reSTART Life, one of the few
residential programs in the nation specializing in tech addiction.
Use of that word — addiction — when it comes to devices,
online content and the like, is still debated in the mental health world. But
many practitioners agree that tech use is increasingly intertwined with the
problems of those seeking help.
An American Academy of Pediatrics review of worldwide
research found that excessive use of video games alone is a serious problem for
as many as 9 percent of young people. This summer, the World Health
Organization also added “gaming disorder” to its list of afflictions. A similar
diagnosis is being considered in the United States.
It can be a taboo subject in an industry that frequently
faces criticism for using “persuasive design,” intentionally harnessing
psychological concepts to make tech all the more enticing. That’s why the
27-year-old who works at the tech company spoke on condition that his identity
not be revealed. He fears that speaking out could hurt his fledgling career.
“I stay in the tech industry because I truly believe that
technology can help other people,” the young man says. He wants to do good.
But as his co-workers huddle nearby, talking excitedly
about their latest video game exploits, he puts on his headphones, hoping to
block the frequent topic of conversation in this tech-centric part of the
world.
Even the computer screen in front of him could lead him
astray. But he digs in, typing determinedly on his keyboard to refocus on the
task at hand.
___
The demons are not easy to wrestle for this young man,
who was born in 1991, the very year the World Wide Web went public.
As a toddler, he sat on his dad’s lap as they played
simple video games on a Mac Classic II computer. Together in their Seattle area
home, they browsed the internet on what was then a ground-breaking new service
called Prodigy. The sound of the bouncy, then high-pitched tones of the dial-up
connection are etched in his memory.
By early elementary school, he got his first Super
Nintendo system and fell in love with “Yoshi’s Story,” a game where the main
character searched for “lucky fruit.”
As he grew, so did one of the world’s major tech hubs.
Led by Microsoft, it rose from the nondescript suburban landscape and farm
fields here, just a short drive from the home he still shares with his mom, who
split from her husband when their only child was 11.
The boy dreamt of being part of this tech boom and, in
eighth grade, wrote a note to himself. “I want to be a computer engineer,” it
read.
Very bright and with a head full of facts and figures, he
usually did well in school. He also took an interest in music and acting but
recalls how playing games increasingly became a way to escape life — the pain
he felt, for instance, when his parents divorced or when his first serious
girlfriend broke his heart at age 14. That relationship still ranks as his
longest.
“Hey, do you wanna go out?” friends would ask.
“No, man, I got plans. I can’t do it this weekend.
Sorry,” was his typical response, if he answered at all.
“And then I’d just go play video games,” he says of his
adolescent “dark days,” exacerbated by attention deficit disorder, depression
and major social anxiety.
Even now, if he thinks he’s said something stupid to
someone, his words are replaced with a verbal tick - “Tsst, tsst” — as he
replays the conversation in his head.
“There’s always a catalyst and then it usually bubbles up
these feelings of avoidance,” he says. “I go online instead of dealing with my
feelings.”
He’d been seeing a therapist since his parents’ divorce.
But attending college out of state allowed more freedom and less structure, so
he spent even more time online. His grades plummeted, forcing him to change
majors, from engineering to business.
Eventually, he graduated in 2016 and moved home. Each
day, he’d go to a nearby restaurant or the library to use the Wi-Fi, claiming
he was looking for a job but having no luck.
Instead, he was spending hours on Reddit, an online forum
where people share news and comments, or viewing YouTube videos. Sometimes, he
watched online porn.
Even now, his mom doesn’t know that he lied. “I still
need to apologize for that,” he says, quietly.
___
The apologies will come later, in Step 9 of his 12-step
program, which he found with the help of a therapist who specializes in tech
addiction. He began attending meetings of the local group called Internet &
Tech Addiction Anonymous in the fall of 2016 and landed his current job a
couple months later.
For a while now, he’s been stuck on Step 4 — the personal
inventory — a challenge to take a deep look at himself and the source of his
problems. “It can be overwhelming,” he says.
The young men at the recent 12-step meeting understand
the struggle.
“I had to be convinced that this was a ‘thing,’” says
Walker, a 19-year-old from Washington whose parents insisted he get help after
video gaming trashed his first semester of college. He and others from the meeting
agreed to speak only if identified by first name, as required by the 12-step
tenets.
That’s where facilities like reSTART come in. They share
a group home after spending several weeks in therapy and “detoxing” at a
secluded ranch. One recent early morning at the ranch outside Carnation,
Washington, an 18-year-old from California named Robel was up early to feed
horses, goats and a couple of farm cats — a much different routine than staying
up late to play video games. He and other young men in the house also cook
meals for one another and take on other chores.
Eventually, they write “life balance plans,” committing
to eating well and regular sleep and exercise. They find jobs and new ways to
socialize, and many eventually return to college once they show they can
maintain “sobriety” in the real world. They make “bottom line” promises to give
up video games or any other problem content, as well as drugs and alcohol, if
those are issues. They’re also given monitored smartphones with limited
function — calls, texts and emails and access to maps.
“It’s more like an eating disorder because they have to
learn to use tech,” just as anorexics need to eat, says Hilarie Cash, chief
clinical officer and another co-founder at reSTART, which opened nearly a
decade ago. They’ve since added an adolescent program and will soon offer
outpatient services because of growing demand.
The young tech worker, who grew up just down the road,
didn’t have the funds to go to such a program — it’s not covered by insurance,
because tech addiction is not yet an official diagnosis.
But he, too, has apps on his phone that send reports
about what he’s viewing to his 12-step sponsor, a fellow tech addict named
Charlie, a 30-year-old reSTART graduate.
At home, the young man also persuaded his mom to get rid
of Wi-Fi to lessen the temptation. Mom struggles with her own addiction —
over-eating — so she’s tried to be as supportive as she can.
It hasn’t been easy for her son, who still relapses every
month or two with an extended online binge. He’s managed to keep his job. But
sometimes, he wishes he could be more like his co-workers, who spend a lot of
their leisure time playing video games and seem to function just fine.
“Deep down, I think there’s a longing to be one of those
people,” Charlie says.
That’s true, the young man concedes. He still has those
days when he’s tired, upset or extremely bored — and he tests the limits.
He tells himself he’s not as bad as other addicts.
Charlie knows something’s up when his calls or texts aren’t returned for
several days, or even weeks.
“Then,” the young man says, “I discover very quickly that
I am actually an addict, and I do need to do this.”
Having Charlie to lean on helps. “He’s a role model,” he
says.
“He has a place of his own. He has a dog. He has
friends.”
That’s what he wants for himself.
___
Online:
Internet & Tech Addiction Anonymous: http://www.netaddictionanon.com
reSTART Life: https://netaddictionrecovery.com
Children and Screens: http://www.childrenandscreens.com
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